Thursday, December 09, 2010

My Confession

I just don’t know how I can make this feeling disappear
I really want that feeling disappear for sure
But I think, my heart and my brain never be a friend
If my heart says that I miss you, my brain will says that I shouldn’t miss you
If my brain says that I have to forget you, my heart will never let that happen

But most often, my heart will give a command to my heart
Sometimes they work together to make me crazy
If my heart wants to see you, my brain quickly starts to find you
If my heart gets nervous when I meet you, my brain logically will thinks that I have to act normally
Now I understand, heart has its own rule
Heart can not be explained with brain even using thousands words
So does brain, all of exact sciences can not be explained with heart even using thousands feels

I don’t know where I have to go now
My heart says that I have to go to your heart
But my brain says that I have to stay and let everything goes by its way
If you are being my side, which one do you prefer?
Must I pretend that I’m alright all day?
Those are difficult, very difficult

*sorry if my grammar is bad :)

Perahu Kertas - Dee

Hati kamu mungkin memilihku, seperti juga hatiku selalu memilihmu. Tapi hati bisa bertumbuh dan bertahan dengan pilihan lain. Kadang, begitu saja sudah cukup. Sekarang pun aku merasa cukup.

– Perahu Kertas - Dee
Hati tidak pernah memilih. Hati dipilih. Jadi, kalau Keenan bilang, Keenan telah memilih saya, selamanya Keenan tidak akan pernah tulus mencintai saya. Karena hati tidak perlu memilih. Ia selalu tahu ke mana harus berlabuh.

– Perahu Kertas - Dee
 
Carilah orang yang nggak perlu meminta apa-apa tapi kamu mau memberikan segala-segalanya.

– Perahu Kertas - Dee
Kepala kamu akan selalu berpikir menggunakan pola ‘harusnya’, tapi yang namanya hati selalu punya aturan sendiri. Ini urusan hati. Berhenti berpikir pakai kepala. Secerdas-cerdasnya otak kamu, nggak mungkin bisa dipakai untuk mengerti hati. Dengerin aja hati kamu.

– Perahu Kertas - Dee
Pada akhirnya, tidak ada yang bisa memaksa. Tidak juga janji, atau kesetiaan. Tidak ada. Sekalipun akhirnya dia memilih untuk tetap bersamamu, hatinya tidak bisa dipaksa oleh apa pun, oleh siapa pun.

– Perahu Kertas - Dee

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Foolish

Mengetahui bahwa kamu tidak peduli itu sakit
Aku telah berharap terlalu tinggi akan dirimu
Sepertinya semua harapanku telah sia-sia
Yang aku dapati hanyalah kamu yang semakin menjauh
Kamu yang terus berjalan tanpa menolehku
Dan kamu yang berlari lurus kepadanya
Semantara aku?
Aku mendapati diriku berdiri sendiri di sini
Menggapai bayanganmu yang semu yang kian menjauh
Dan menunggu uluran tangan kasih-sayang untuk membantuku bertahan

Ini semua salahku
Aku yang terlalu bodoh untuk terus menunggumu
Andai saja aku tidak terlalu jatuh dalam perasaan ini
Mungkin aku tidak akan merasakan luka karenamu
Setiap detik yang kugunakan untuk memikirkanmu itu sampah
Masih sebegitu sulitkah aku untuk memahami?
Bahwa kamu tidak menginginkanku
Tidak pernah menginginkanku
Dan tidak akan menginginkanku
Masih sulitkah itu untuk dimengerti?

Aku

Aku lebah yang terbang kehilangan arah
Aku ombak yang pecah membentur karang
Aku ladang yang tiada benih ditanamnya

Aku tersesat
Terluka
Dan sendiri

A Story Between Us part I

I remember the first day I knew you. You sat beside me, no talked at all but from that moment I began to really see you. You made a joke and I laughed. How happy I was at there. I realized that I started interesting with you.

But next day, next week, and next month passed and I was busy to prepare about PSCS 2010. So for a while, I forgot anything about you. I didn't know why, maybe that was because I didn't have any special feel at that moment.

At 6th October 2010, I was surprise because I had to publish PSCS 2010 to many places and guess what, I would going out with you. I was speechless.

I remember clearly, I sat behind on you on your motorbike. We went to many places and laughed together. I remember we ate together at eureka even it just about 15 minutes because our friends came and joined with us. 

I remember we went to junior high school 3 and we waited for long time enough at there. We talked together and stand near each other. Some students at there started to call your name, but you told me that honestly, you didn't know them. You said in whisper to my ear.

I remember there was 2 women who looked at us with a weird seeing, then I asked to you ...

  • Me   :  Why did those women look at us like that?
  • Him  :  Haha, they thought that we are in a relationship and in date.
  • Me   :  Oh that must be kidding -___-
  • Him  :  I don't give a matter. Hey mam, we are already married, so what?
  • Me   :  *clap my hand to his helmet and laughing*

Then we went to MOG. I remember I made you in hurry because I had to give my friend's helmet back. Then you offered me that you would take me home this afternoon but I ignored it. DAMN I'M SO REGRET NOW!

I remember our first tweets. And the most I remember is when you gave me your special tweet. Oh you will never know how happy I was. Now, I realize that I am falling in love with you. Oh damn that is very crazy.

Day by day I start to understand. You are far enough to reach. I'm not your type. I can't make you to see me. I am invisible on your eyes. So many reasons why I am not suitable to stand beside you. I try to forget you but I can't.

Just seeing you at a distance maybe is all I can do
Just keeping the hurt when I can't tell you what I really feel maybe is the best