Am I Talking.....Love? -___-

Kata Bu As, cinta itu nggak memiliki. Munafik. Setiap orang pasti ingin memiliki dan dimiliki. Entahlah, Dee emang bener. Nggak ada satu pun quote, dari siapa pun yang bisa mendefinisikan tentang cinta. Mendekati pun nggak. Yang jelas, it can not be seen by anything but heart. Klise, sejak kapan hati punya mata? Oke ralat, it can only be felt by heart.

Satu-satunya what-people-usually-say-about-love yang aku percaya cuma, love is unpredictable. Terlalu banyak kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang awalnya impossible turns to possible. Peluang pun nggak segampang itu bisa dihitung pakai rumus P= n(A) : n(S). So, I learn to expect nothing from love.

 

I may say the best feeling ever is when you are in love. I wouldn't know what to say, it just feels like doing roller-coaster game. Your heart can not stop its beat, then you are afraid that you'll fall down if you're on the top, at the same time you're happy because it's just full of fun, we are going to scream out loud of what we feel, and when we are done, all we're gonna do is play it again again and again. Addicted, kalau mau pakai bahasa kerennya.

 

Buuuuuut....I may also say that the worst feeling ever is when you are already fallin with one person...and that person is already fallin in with another girl. How could a love hurt this bad? Pepole who do one-sided-love, only learn to dream, wish and hope. It just makes a circle-cycle, fallin in-hopin-hopeless-forgetting-fallin in-hopin- and so on.

 

Okay, let's make some conclusions. First of all, don't fall in love. We know that there's just too much to lose. Actually, it depends on how breaf you are of taking the risk. Second, remember it, love is unpredictable. So, just expect nothing from love. And last but not the least, where does love bring us? Believe it, anywhere it goes, just follow. Because everything happens for a reason. So does love, behind the worse one, there are always the better and the best part.

Pretending

Pretending, is the hardest part of life. We have to smile, even our lips have no strength to hold this worried. We make a great face, even eyes closed to fight with this tears. We try to stand, even this feet have fallen for many times so we could just get up and go.

But as you know, sometimes pretending is needed. I pretend to smile, making a great face, standing, so people see I am happy. The real is, I am lying. Behind of looking good, I have my own pain, but once again, pretending is a way to face it off.

As time goes by, pretending is not that hard to do. I'm sure we have our own mask, to show our fake face and hide what we feel inside.

Pretending is inseperable.

Reminder

Treat people as well as you can, but never wish people will treat you the same, it may hurts you a lot. Cause not all people know how to treat others well.

A Story Between Us part III - end

Speechless. Sooner or later I know that it is going to be real. Like or dislike it, ignorance isn't useful here. She's more than me in everything. She's got everything that I have to live without. It should be no question here ... but may I ask one thing? Does she like you the way you do? I hope so.

Now I know how it feels, broken-heart. It feels like what I've been waiting for is useless. Jelousy like a habit here. Crying, what should I'm crying for? Everthing's made to be broken, right?

Let me tell you about this girl. She is one of my bestfriend. We've been together since in kindergarten, so 2+6+3+1=12 years? Long time enough to know her well. I bet she's beautiful, smart, rich, kind, yaah kinda perfect girl.

Finally, I'd give up forever to touch you. This will be the end of a story between us. Part III, wow. Wait, I need my time to fix the pieces of me. Could you help me friend?

As usual, I hide my feeling there and I play my words here...

See the part II ...

http://dewi-wardanii.blogspot.com/2011/07/story-between-us-part-ii.html

See the part I ...

http://dewi-wardanii.blogspot.com/2010/12/story-between-us.html

A Story Between Us part II

What is the most tired thing to do? Hoping! Especially when you have no idea about his feeling. It seems like he will never ever let me in. Is it his fault? No, it is totally my fault. Doing nothing is what I do. Just seeing him at a  distance, watching him pass by, looking his photos on my friend's laptop, reading his tweets every single night, smiling to his reflection, sitting by the moon, hey what am I really doing? Sometimes I can feel it while you are watching me, or is it just my imagination? I don't know and I'll never know.

I always envy, with anyone who can talk to you easily, with anyone who is mentioned by you, with anyone who can text you whenever they like, with anyone who can make you laugh, with anyone who is seen by your eyes. And the saddest thing is knowing that I can't be that lucky person. Oh you didn't even notice me huh, right?

Fallin in love with you, is the most foolish thing I ever did. And I keep wondering why I can't keep my eyes off of you. Everytime I wannna say, Stop he's untouchable, I'm not suitable, Just forget him, He's too far, but in the end it doesn't work and what I am afraid will happen, I'm fallin in love with you, all over again.

Those are the most tired, most foolish, saddest things happened in my life. I've been wasted my time for that but yaah I'm invisible so no one wanna see. And you know what? It's because of you. My hopes and expectations are filling my day. Stupid me, I just wanna let him go, why is that so hard?

I like you, just from the first sight, and until now it still feels like the first time. Can it change? I wish.

See the part I ..

http://dewiwardanii.blogspot.com/2010/12/story-between-us.html

Friends and Dreams

Friends come and go. I just think that it is too fast to say goodbye to my old classmates then I have to say hello to my new classmates. Please take me in anywhere situations but not this. I hate to say goodbye even I just have to let them move to another class.

Still remember the first time I met them, I did not even know their names. At that time, I did not feel confuse because I still had some of my known-friends there. I just thought that I did not even care if I do not know them. But time goes by and yeah we had to adapt with others. I was getting little difficult but so far it was an amazing class.

Like a normal life, of course we could not escape from problems. From the easiest one to the hardest one, we tried to solve it with cold-head. Sometimes, someone needed to mad if we were in chaos.

From nothing to be something, it was not as easy like it says. Thirty-one characters and it was impossible if none of us never talking about anyone who are members of our class. We could just talking behind them without any brave to say in front of them.

Competition was normal as usual, so I will not tell you about this.

1 year have spent with sit together in classrooms, 12 months with stories to tell, 365 days (not exactly maybe) with lessons which we can take from it, 8760 hours have been through with lot of experiences which will not be same with others, 525600 minutes with many conversations between us and 31536000 seconds with our hopes, wishes and dreams about what we will be in the future.

Science and social. Both of them make us to choose, which one is the best for our future. And both of them make us to move, being separate, then say goodbye. We all have different hopes, wishes and dreams. But we have one purpose which is exactly same. All of us want the best for our life, not only at the future but also at the present.

It does not matter if we are being separate now, because I know it just temporary. Someday I believe, we will say hello again. Met by our hopes, wishes and dreams, which are already come true. Amin.

Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.
Eugene Ionesco

My Future has Begun

First of all, I would like to thankful to Allah SWT for everything that Allah have given to me. Wow, I know that You always have the best plan for me, and I believe in that.

My second thank, I dedicate for my parents especially for my father. He is the best man I ever met, the best dad I ever had (so far I just have one father) and the most patient person I ever known. And also my mother, she is the best mom I ever known, without her I can not be like this, for sure.

I'm very glad to be a girl who can make you both proud of. This is one thing that I can do for you to reply everything uncounted that you've been give to me. I know this is nothing than you've been do, but at least let me make you proud in the time when your name was said by my school and from story that you told to me, I can conclude that I was success to make you proud. Thanks God for giving me a chance to make my parents proud of me. 3rd rank is enough, much enough for me.

I'm on XI grade now, yihaaa! And yeah like your prediction maybe, I get in science class. Yes, science. I don't know I should happy or not. This may be good sign for my dream, I wish.

The family is the school of duties - founded on love.

Felix Adler

Hidup

Aku berharap dapat hidup di atas sayap burung merpati yang terbang tinggi.
Aku ingin meninggalkan semua lukaku di setiap cabang yang kuhinggapi bersamanya.
Aku berharap saat aku kembali kelak, aku hanya melihat luka itu sebagai buah pahit kehidupan, bukan sebuah batu rintangan yang menghalangi hidupku.
Lama-kelamaan buah pahit itu akan membusuk dan terurai oleh bakteri-bakteri jahat merugikan yang dalam kasus ini menguntungkan untukku.
Dan pada suatu hari saat aku kembali dari terbang jauhku, aku menyadari aku merindukan kehidupanku yang nyata.
Sang merpati pun akhirnya menurunkanku dalam kehidupan nyata bersama buah-buah pelajaran yang telah aku dapat selama aku terbang bersamanya.
Hingga pada akhir kisah aku dapat hidup bahagia hanya dengan bertemankan sang buah pelajaran dari masa lalu.
Itulah arti hidup menurutku.

Irama Senja

Dentingan tuts demi tuts mengusik telinga
Mengalunkan nada rindu di kala senja
Irama yang berjalan begitu nyata
Angin berbisik memanggil sebuah nama
Kamu

Puisi ini sebenernya tugas Bahasa Indonesia waktu disuruh bikin puisi yang bercitrakan pendengaran. Yaaah, jadi deh puisi ini. Agak geje sih, tapi biarin deh.

Permainan

Detik pun ikut berlari
Peluh mengucur deras bercampur dengan rintik hujan
Gemuruh dada terus mengiringi setiap desahan nafas
Fokus pandangan terletak pada sebuah benda bulat yang menggelinding
Suasana mencekam pun mencapai klimaks
Teriakan dukungan menggema bersama bunyi peluit

Permainan
Sebuah kata sederhana penuh makna
Bukan sekedar bermain tapi stretegi
Bukan sekedar melawan tapi sportifitas
Bukan sekedar menjadi yang tertinggi tapi yang terbaik
Bukan sekedar kemenangan tapi kebanggaan

Sebuah kemenangan adalah tujuan
Tapi bukan sesuatau yang mutlak
Memang memberi posisi tertinggi tapi belum tentu terbaik
Tim terbaik bukanlah yang ada di puncak kejuaraan
Bukan yang berhasil membuat jatuh lawan
Bukan pula yang terbanyak mencetak angka

Tapi tim terbaik adalah yang terkuat
Menahan aliran emosi yang naik seiring jantung yang berpacu
Yang terbaik adalah yang mendapat kemenangan dengan senyum tulus keberhasilan
Yang menerima kekalahan dengan kepala terangkat
Yang tak kenal lelah untuk terus berjuang
Dan yang terbaik adalah yang memahami arti permainan yang sesungguhnya