Reminder

Treat people as well as you can, but never wish people will treat you the same, it may hurts you a lot. Cause not all people know how to treat others well.

A Story Between Us part III - end

Speechless. Sooner or later I know that it is going to be real. Like or dislike it, ignorance isn't useful here. She's more than me in everything. She's got everything that I have to live without. It should be no question here ... but may I ask one thing? Does she like you the way you do? I hope so.

Now I know how it feels, broken-heart. It feels like what I've been waiting for is useless. Jelousy like a habit here. Crying, what should I'm crying for? Everthing's made to be broken, right?

Let me tell you about this girl. She is one of my bestfriend. We've been together since in kindergarten, so 2+6+3+1=12 years? Long time enough to know her well. I bet she's beautiful, smart, rich, kind, yaah kinda perfect girl.

Finally, I'd give up forever to touch you. This will be the end of a story between us. Part III, wow. Wait, I need my time to fix the pieces of me. Could you help me friend?

As usual, I hide my feeling there and I play my words here...

See the part II ...

http://dewi-wardanii.blogspot.com/2011/07/story-between-us-part-ii.html

See the part I ...

http://dewi-wardanii.blogspot.com/2010/12/story-between-us.html

A Story Between Us part II

What is the most tired thing to do? Hoping! Especially when you have no idea about his feeling. It seems like he will never ever let me in. Is it his fault? No, it is totally my fault. Doing nothing is what I do. Just seeing him at a  distance, watching him pass by, looking his photos on my friend's laptop, reading his tweets every single night, smiling to his reflection, sitting by the moon, hey what am I really doing? Sometimes I can feel it while you are watching me, or is it just my imagination? I don't know and I'll never know.

I always envy, with anyone who can talk to you easily, with anyone who is mentioned by you, with anyone who can text you whenever they like, with anyone who can make you laugh, with anyone who is seen by your eyes. And the saddest thing is knowing that I can't be that lucky person. Oh you didn't even notice me huh, right?

Fallin in love with you, is the most foolish thing I ever did. And I keep wondering why I can't keep my eyes off of you. Everytime I wannna say, Stop he's untouchable, I'm not suitable, Just forget him, He's too far, but in the end it doesn't work and what I am afraid will happen, I'm fallin in love with you, all over again.

Those are the most tired, most foolish, saddest things happened in my life. I've been wasted my time for that but yaah I'm invisible so no one wanna see. And you know what? It's because of you. My hopes and expectations are filling my day. Stupid me, I just wanna let him go, why is that so hard?

I like you, just from the first sight, and until now it still feels like the first time. Can it change? I wish.

See the part I ..

http://dewiwardanii.blogspot.com/2010/12/story-between-us.html

Friends and Dreams

Friends come and go. I just think that it is too fast to say goodbye to my old classmates then I have to say hello to my new classmates. Please take me in anywhere situations but not this. I hate to say goodbye even I just have to let them move to another class.

Still remember the first time I met them, I did not even know their names. At that time, I did not feel confuse because I still had some of my known-friends there. I just thought that I did not even care if I do not know them. But time goes by and yeah we had to adapt with others. I was getting little difficult but so far it was an amazing class.

Like a normal life, of course we could not escape from problems. From the easiest one to the hardest one, we tried to solve it with cold-head. Sometimes, someone needed to mad if we were in chaos.

From nothing to be something, it was not as easy like it says. Thirty-one characters and it was impossible if none of us never talking about anyone who are members of our class. We could just talking behind them without any brave to say in front of them.

Competition was normal as usual, so I will not tell you about this.

1 year have spent with sit together in classrooms, 12 months with stories to tell, 365 days (not exactly maybe) with lessons which we can take from it, 8760 hours have been through with lot of experiences which will not be same with others, 525600 minutes with many conversations between us and 31536000 seconds with our hopes, wishes and dreams about what we will be in the future.

Science and social. Both of them make us to choose, which one is the best for our future. And both of them make us to move, being separate, then say goodbye. We all have different hopes, wishes and dreams. But we have one purpose which is exactly same. All of us want the best for our life, not only at the future but also at the present.

It does not matter if we are being separate now, because I know it just temporary. Someday I believe, we will say hello again. Met by our hopes, wishes and dreams, which are already come true. Amin.

Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.
Eugene Ionesco

My Future has Begun

First of all, I would like to thankful to Allah SWT for everything that Allah have given to me. Wow, I know that You always have the best plan for me, and I believe in that.

My second thank, I dedicate for my parents especially for my father. He is the best man I ever met, the best dad I ever had (so far I just have one father) and the most patient person I ever known. And also my mother, she is the best mom I ever known, without her I can not be like this, for sure.

I'm very glad to be a girl who can make you both proud of. This is one thing that I can do for you to reply everything uncounted that you've been give to me. I know this is nothing than you've been do, but at least let me make you proud in the time when your name was said by my school and from story that you told to me, I can conclude that I was success to make you proud. Thanks God for giving me a chance to make my parents proud of me. 3rd rank is enough, much enough for me.

I'm on XI grade now, yihaaa! And yeah like your prediction maybe, I get in science class. Yes, science. I don't know I should happy or not. This may be good sign for my dream, I wish.

The family is the school of duties - founded on love.

Felix Adler

Hidup

Aku berharap dapat hidup di atas sayap burung merpati yang terbang tinggi.
Aku ingin meninggalkan semua lukaku di setiap cabang yang kuhinggapi bersamanya.
Aku berharap saat aku kembali kelak, aku hanya melihat luka itu sebagai buah pahit kehidupan, bukan sebuah batu rintangan yang menghalangi hidupku.
Lama-kelamaan buah pahit itu akan membusuk dan terurai oleh bakteri-bakteri jahat merugikan yang dalam kasus ini menguntungkan untukku.
Dan pada suatu hari saat aku kembali dari terbang jauhku, aku menyadari aku merindukan kehidupanku yang nyata.
Sang merpati pun akhirnya menurunkanku dalam kehidupan nyata bersama buah-buah pelajaran yang telah aku dapat selama aku terbang bersamanya.
Hingga pada akhir kisah aku dapat hidup bahagia hanya dengan bertemankan sang buah pelajaran dari masa lalu.
Itulah arti hidup menurutku.

Irama Senja

Dentingan tuts demi tuts mengusik telinga
Mengalunkan nada rindu di kala senja
Irama yang berjalan begitu nyata
Angin berbisik memanggil sebuah nama
Kamu

Puisi ini sebenernya tugas Bahasa Indonesia waktu disuruh bikin puisi yang bercitrakan pendengaran. Yaaah, jadi deh puisi ini. Agak geje sih, tapi biarin deh.

Permainan

Detik pun ikut berlari
Peluh mengucur deras bercampur dengan rintik hujan
Gemuruh dada terus mengiringi setiap desahan nafas
Fokus pandangan terletak pada sebuah benda bulat yang menggelinding
Suasana mencekam pun mencapai klimaks
Teriakan dukungan menggema bersama bunyi peluit

Permainan
Sebuah kata sederhana penuh makna
Bukan sekedar bermain tapi stretegi
Bukan sekedar melawan tapi sportifitas
Bukan sekedar menjadi yang tertinggi tapi yang terbaik
Bukan sekedar kemenangan tapi kebanggaan

Sebuah kemenangan adalah tujuan
Tapi bukan sesuatau yang mutlak
Memang memberi posisi tertinggi tapi belum tentu terbaik
Tim terbaik bukanlah yang ada di puncak kejuaraan
Bukan yang berhasil membuat jatuh lawan
Bukan pula yang terbanyak mencetak angka

Tapi tim terbaik adalah yang terkuat
Menahan aliran emosi yang naik seiring jantung yang berpacu
Yang terbaik adalah yang mendapat kemenangan dengan senyum tulus keberhasilan
Yang menerima kekalahan dengan kepala terangkat
Yang tak kenal lelah untuk terus berjuang
Dan yang terbaik adalah yang memahami arti permainan yang sesungguhnya

Abstract

Ini abstrak
Tidak terkatakan
Tidak terdefinisikan
Tidak terungkapkan

Selalu begini
Berakhir pada titik rendah pengharapan
Berlutut bersama kepasrahan
Mengemis kepada air mata agar membawa serta kepedihan

Tak ada kamu
Tak ada aku juga pada akhirnya
Hanya kekosongan yang tertawa hampa
Dan kesepian yang terlelap sunyi

Jiwa ini telah musnah
Raga ini hanya topeng kemunafikan
Cermin hati telah retak abadi
Kotak pandora akhirnya terbuka

KEPUTUSASAAN

Betumbuk Pandang

Sebuah kerlingan tertangkap oleh sudut mataku
Entah itu mimpi atau nyata?
Sesekali mata kami bertumbuk pandang
Hanya beberapa detik
Karena sepasang mataku atau matanya akan langsung berpaling
Entah antara malu atau ingin menyembunyikan
Tanpa sadar setiap beberapa menit sekali, aku memandangnya sekilas
Ini seperti sebuah kebiasaan
Hanya ingin mengetahui di mana kamu berpijak
Aku masih tidak tahu ini nyata atau hanya khayalku
Mungkin ini hanya imajinasiku saja
Tapi mengapa ini terasa begitu nyata?